– Come Over –

—

“Hey come over”  

I know this routine well enough to say no 

But when I do I spend the night wondering if he’ll still want me 

—

“Hey come over”  

This time I do 

He makes sure the curtains are tightly drawn 

I wonder if he’ll need to be high or drunk to have sex with me again 

When I leave 

I cry in the car 

No matter what I say 

I’m left crying 

—

“Come over”  

A demand this time, not a playful suggestion 

I oblige  

Because I can’t afford to say no 

I ask him what we are  

I get a non-committal answer  

Enough to keep me appeased  

But not enough to close out his other options 

—

“Come over”   

I know this routine well enough by now 

To know that I lose either way 

I say yes 

In hopes that something will change this time  

—